Solid Snake: The Brawl
by slydemon2
Summary: This is a sequel to Solid Snake: How He Came to the Brawl. The summeray is inside chapter 1 beacuse it spoiles the end of the first story. Please read that story before reading this one.
1. New game, New pain

HELLO CLEVELAND… uh… I mean readers! Thank you for coming back and reading the sequel to my first fan fic, Solid Snake: How He Came to the Brawl, (and if you haven't please R&R that before coming back to this story) even though it's been about a half a year since I made the story. I'm very sorry it took me so long to post this and if I told you why you would probably say "THAT'S BULL S—T! STOP LYING YOU MOTHER F—KER!" Well, enough talking, let's get to the story.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, products, places or anything in this story except the story line.

**Summary: After going through hell in a fake tournament, Snake was finally able to make it in the next Super Smash Bros. game. Now it's time to see who else is in the game, and if he can fit in. Will Snake crack under the pressure? Or will he just kill Michihiro?**

**Solid Snake: The Brawl **

**Chapter1: New Game, New Pain**

After going through a fake tournament, nearly dying, and having Mario pull some strings for him, Solid Snake from the Metal Gear Solid games was finally in the next Super Smash Bros. game. Snake was now standing in front of the giant mansion that he will be living in for the next few months.

"Pretty cool, huh?" said Michihiro, who popped out of nowhere and was now standing next to Snake.

"Yup, pretty co- what the!?" Snake jumped and turned to Mchihiro. "What do you think you are doing here!?"

"Well, number one, I'm bored. Number two I want to just hang out, you know," Michihiro nodded his head to Snake with an agreeing smile, and Snake shook his head with a disagreeing frown. "There is no number three, and number four, I actually have some important business to take care of."

"Business? What kind of business?" Snake asked.

"You know, like registering you and giving them the licensing for your name, stuff like that." Michihiro responded to Snake who had a confused look on his face.

"Shouldn't Hideo Kojima do those things?" Snake said.

"Right, about him… uh… he had a little… accident, recently." Snake looked at him shockingly.

"What happened to Kojima!?" Snake said.

"Uh… I … accidentally pushed him down a flight of stairs." Michihiro said.

"WHAT!?" Snake yelled.

"O.K. 3 flight's of stairs! I was just joking around with him, having laughs but then I hit him on the back too hard and he fell down the steps. The doctors told me that it was amazing that he didn't break his neck and that there was conveniently a box of marshmallows at the bottom. But he is currently in critical condition and will probably die." After hearing this Snake's jaw was practically touching the floor.

"Now I think you should enter the building with style! Going through the front door is sooo yesterday! Like totally!" Michihiro said while in a girly pose.

"It amazes me how quickly you're able to change topics," Snake said, not caring what Michihiro just said. Michihiro, also not caring what Snake just said, continued talking and pulled out a box.

"You should hide in this box, go to one of the battle fields, wait until someone comes, and then come out and say something cool like _'time to meet your maker!' _or, or '_guess who's back?' _oh, or you could say _'do these shoes make me look fat?'_ Snake looked at him for a minute and then finally said something.

"If it means time away from you, count me in." He grabbed the box and went to a battle field. He waited for a very long time and no one came. He then took out his PSP and started to play Metal Gear Ac!d 2.

"Grrr… come on! How can you miss? He's not even moving… what the... no, no, no! Stop, please don- aw man! I friggen died! AHHH!" Snake slammed his PSP on the ground. "This is pointless!" He was about to leave when he heard voices from outside. There was a battle going on. It was against Mario and link.

"Here is my chance! Let's see… what to say, what to say… I know! _'It's show time!' _ Yeah, that's good!" Link was about to throw a boomerang at Mario when Snake came out of his box. Link got surprised, and threw the boomerang at Snake.

"It's show ti- AHHHH!" The boomerang his Snake in the neck and blood gushed out of his mouth. Snake fell to the floor, and Link and Mario just stood there.

"Snake!? What the hell do you think you're doing!? Snake... Oh my God! You killed him!" Mario said looking at Link.

"I didn't kill him… did I?" Link said. Mario went up to him and felt for a pulse.

"Your lucky… he still has a pulse. Looks like he's just paralyzed." Mario said while walking away.

"Aren't you gonna help me?" Link said while picking up Snake.

"No." Mario quickly responded who then backed away slowly and ran away.

"Bastard!" Link screamed while dragging Snake into the mansion.

**Later, in Dr. Mario's office…**

"Boomerang to the neck, eh? Well there is only one treatment for that." Said Dr. Mario after hearing what had happened to Snake.

"What's that?" Asked Link.

"A brain transplant!" Dr. Mario said while holding an old, rusty, and bloody saw.

"What!?" Link said surprised.

"And you must be the donor!" Dr. Mario said, pointing the saw at Link.

"WHAT!?" Link said very scared.

"I'm just joking!" said Dr. Mario. Link sighed deeply. "He just need's to take a heart piece and he'll be fine." He put the heart piece next to Snake and nothing happened.

"Uhhh, he's paralyzed!" said Link.

"Oh yeah… look's like we'll just have to shove it up his ass!" said Dr. Mario.

"Oh no you're not!" said Snake who jumped up so high he hit his head on the ceiling.

"Snake, I have to do this! If I don't, you'll stay paralyzed forever!" said Dr. Mario while trying to grab Snake.

"If you get near me I will open a big can of woop ass on you!" Snake said.

"Will you just cooperate!?" said Dr. Mario.

"No!"

"I'll give you a lolly pop."

"… What flavor?"

"Cherry."

"Then hell no!"

"Hey doctor." said Link.

"What?" Dr. Mario responded.

"Do you still have to do the anal injection if he is not paralyzed anymore!?" Link said furiously.

"Huh… You may have a point." Dr. Mario said.

"That was a close one." Snake said sitting down.

"No it wasn't! This is close!" said young Link who came bursting through the door and shot an arrow at Snake's head. He hit him dead on.

"Ohh… too close." Young Link then ran out the door.

"This is going to be a living hell." said Snake while blood drizzled down his head.

**Chapter1: Clear**

Well I finally started the sequel. I decided to take out the advertisement because I found it started to get old. Well, I hope this story doesn't turn out to be like a Disney sequel… pure suck-u-lance.Chapter2 Let's F—k this trailer up!is coming soon.

P.S. please review.


	2. Let's f k this trailer up!

Sorry it took so long to post chapter 2. Once again, if I told you the reason why it took me so long you would just say "THAT'S BULL S--T! STOP LYING YOU MOTHER

F--KER!" Also, I'm sorry that the chapter is really long. My hands just wouldn't stop typing! Well, here is the story. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own this stuff.

**Chapter2: Let's f--k this trailer up! **

After Snake got a bandage for his new wound, Link decided to give him a little tour of the place.

"Nice place you got here Link," said Snake.

"Thanks. Here, let me show you your room," Link responded while leading Snake down a hallway. There were many doors in the hallway and Snake wondered which door lead where.

Link then pointed to a door. " There's your room." Snake walked towards the door and opened it, but to his surprise he saw not his room but Dane Cook, who had his legs and arms tied up and his mouth bound and gagged. Dane Cook saw Snake and tried screaming for help.

"... What the!?" Link quickly ran over and slammed the door shut, and stared at Snake for a minute, finally responding. "Yeah, about that..."

"That was Dane Cook." Snake said.

"Yes," Link responded.

"He was tied up in a closet."

"Yes."

"... Care to explain?"

"Believe me when I say that this job can get very stressful. That's why we hired Dane Cook to relieve us of our tension and stress with his brand of humor. But because of a certain Bomb-Omb incident he didn't want to work with us anymore, so we had to _'persuade' _him to stay." That being said, Snake could only stare at him.

"Well, here is your real room,"

Link opened a door next to the one Dane Cook was in and allowed Snake to walk in seeing his real room. It was a normal room with a bed, window, desk and T.V. but there was something wrong with the picture. Snake just couldn't put his finger on it.

"Hey there Snake!" said Michihiro lying down on the bed. Snake then realized what the problem was.

"Oh Jesus! Why are you here!?" said Snake angrily.

"Because I wanted a soda!" Snake turned behind him to see none other than Jesus holding said soda.

"Wha-? No! Not you!" Snake said.

"Then don't say my name if you're not talking to me." Jesus replied.

"Now, where was I... oh yes. WHY ARE YOU HERE!?" yelled Snake while pointing a finger at Michihiro.

"Well, since you were going to be here I thought I'd just bunk with you so you won't be lonely. We could tell manly stories, watch manly soap operas, and play manly board games!" Michihiro said. Snake, losing his patience, yelled, "No, no, maybe, and NO!!!! GET OUTTA MY ROOOOM!!!!!"

Snake lunged toward Michihiro and punched him dead in the face. Link, who was still there, just watched as blood splattered onto the wall. Michihiro was launched out of Snake's window, and fell down to the ground with a splat. Snake, still in punching position, realized what he just did.

"Wha... What did I just do?" Snake asked Link calmly.

"You killed him." Link responded looking in disbelief.

"Yeah, I thought so." Snake just stood there. "Umm... can you help me hide the body?" Snake asked Link who had a scared look on his face.

"Hey there guys! What are you do-" Snake and Link turned around to see who was talking and, to their surprise and horror, saw that the voice belonged to none other that Michihiro himself. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"But, but, but..." Snake stuttered while looking at him. He then quickly rushed to the window to look out of it to see if his eyes were playing tricks on him.

"What are you looking at?" Michihiro asked while looking out the window too. He then saw himself.

"Snake... I can't believe you!" Michihiro said.

"It was an accident really!" Snake responded back.

"Actually, you attacked him in cold blood." Link interrupted, still in shock.

"Thanks for defending me." Snake said to Link. Michihiro spoke up again.

"I can't believe you broke my robotic clone again! You owe me 3 payments of $19.95... again!" Snake just stared at him.

"Robotic clone!?"

"Yup. He was gonna give you a message, but seeing that he's dead now, I'll just tell you. I feel like staying with you so you won't be lonely. We can tell man-"

"Actually, I think it would be better if you just get your own room." Link said interupting Michihiro.

"Whatever." Michihiro said while leaving the room. Link, deciding that it would be best to leave before anything else weird happened, said to Snake, "Uhhh... that end's the tour!"

"But we just began!" Snake replied.

"Right, about that... hey, what's that over there!?" Link said, pointing a finger.

"Say what!?" Snake turned around and saw nothing. When he turned back, Link was gone. "I... I can't believe I fell for that." Snake decided to relax on his bed, tired from all the chaos that had happened, but his nap was shortly interrupted when he heard a loud noise from outside.

"Now what!?" He said while getting up, and going to his window to see what was going on outside. He was rewarded with the sight of a giant air ship in the sky coming straight to the mansion.

"Holy crap." Was Snake's only response. At this point Michihiro decided to come back in the room to bother Snake.

"Crap can be holy?" Michihiro said.

"Wha? Get outta here!" Snake shouted back to him. Michihiro left the room grumbling. Snake, wanting to know what was going on, quickly left his room and went outside. Once there he meet Mario and Link.

"What's going on?" Snake asked Mario.

"Ah, Snake, well, we told that others who would be in the next game would be arriving, it look's like our first guest is here." Mario responded.

"... So this giant ship is one of the characters in the game?" Snake asked.

"NO! Are you a retard or something? There's probably someone in the ship." Mario responded.

"What happens if there isn't anyone in the ship?" Snake asked.

"Then we have a giant air ship that is about to crash into the mansion." Mario said casually.

"Huh... hey, what's that blue thing on the top of the ship?"

"Where? I can't see!"

"There, diagonally."

"Ahhh... pretty sneaky Snake. Now, about what that thing is... I dunno."

"Fools! It is I, Metanight! I shall destroy you all with my sword and become the greatest super smash brawler ever! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Metanight said while waving his sword around. But, beacuse he was so high in the air, no one heard a thing he said.

"I think it's talking." Link said.

"Hey Link, why don't you try shooting it down with one of your arrows?" Snake asked Link.

"Let me do it for you." Pit, who just flew up behind them said.

"Who are you?" asked Snake.

"I'm Pit, from Kid Icarus. Nice to meet you. Now, let me shoot that thing out of the sky!" Pit took out a arrow and pulled it back tightly. He then shot the arrow directly at his target and hit it with perfect accuracy. Even though Metanight was far away, they could still see a gush of blood leave him when he got shot by the arrow. Metanight fell to the ground hard.

"Hey, guys?" said Link.

"Yeah?" Pit responded.

"That's Metanight."

"... oops." Dr. Mario, who just so happened to be walking by, then rushed over to Metanight. He picked up his hand to feel for a pulse.

"He's... dead!" Dr. Mario declared.

"No I'm not. I just have an arrow through my forehead." Metanight said while getting up.

"Oh, the poor thing! It thinks it's alive." Dr. Mario took out a shotgun, cocked it, and then pointed it at Metanight. "Let me put you out of your misery!"

"No no no! Please don't! Stop!" Metanight said while squirming away from Dr. Mario and his shotgun.

"Uhh, Dr. Mario I think there is a dying hamster in your office right now!" said Link, trying not to get Metanight

"Yeah! I can go put it down _'humanely'_!" Dr. Mario said. He then ran off.

"Thanks." Metanight said to Link.

"What is all the ruckus!? Are you idiots seeing who can bleed the most without passing out again?" said Samus, who just now came out of the mansion (and who is not in her suit).

"... who's the chick?" asked Snake.

"That's Samus." Mario responded.

"Samus... she's a girl!?"

"NO DUH I'm a girl dumb ass!" Samus screamed back at Snake. It looked like she was about to kill Snake when she noticed something behind him.

"Hey, what's that thing coming straight towards us?" Samus asked Snake.

"Now what?" Snake turned around and saw a motorcycle with a fat man in yellow coming straight at him. Before he could react, the motorcycle crashed right into him, sending Snake about 30 yards away and making the motorcycle explode. After all the smoke was gone, everyone could finally see who it was.

"Wario!? Why the f--k are you here!?" Mario asked.

"You know damn well as why I am here! I want to be in the next game!" Wario said.

"I already said no!" Mario angerly said back to him.

"Oh please let me be in the next game! I even figured out a special move for me!" Wario then turned around.

"What are you gonna do, fart at us?" Pit said.

"Yup!" Everyone could then see a cloud of smoke building up in Wario's ass. Snake then came back from being blown away earlier.

"What the heck happ-" Snake got interrupted because Samus took him and used him as a shied from Wario's fart.

"What do you think you're-" Wario interrupted Snake this time with his horrible fart. It was as loud as a air plane taking off and it smelled horrible. Snake's eye lids were slowly disintergrating and his nose shriveled up. The force of the fart was also peeling off his skin. When Wario was finally done, there was toxic gas everywhere. Snake, at that point, just fell to the floor.

"So can I be in the next game, huh huh huh!?" Wario said while everyone was getting up from the blast.

"Fine!" Mario screamed. He then rushed over to Snake. Wario just started dancing. "I'm gonna be in the game, I'm gonna be in the game, I'm gonna be in the game..."

"Hey, fat ass, shut up!" Link screamed.

"Snake, tell me what you see!" Mario said while holding a mushroom above Snake's head.

"I see a giant air ship that is about to crash into the mansion." Everybody then turned around to see Metanight's air ship inches away from the mansion.

"AHHHHHHH!" Everybody started screaming.

"Metanight, do something!" Pit said. Metanight then took out a Nintendo D.S. and started playing it.

"Hey, you said something." said Metanight. The air ship then crashed into one of the walls of the mansion, making it explode. In the end, a giant chunk of the mansion was gone. Everyone just stared at the carnage. Finally, Mario spoke.

"Well, today turned out better then expected." Everyone, except Snake, then put on a smile and agreed. Then they all went back into the mansion, except Snake who just stood there in amazement.

"... I hate my life."

**Chapter2: Clear**

It took me a while to make this chapter, and I'm very surpriesed of how long it is. Also, I just like to say that I hate it when people make a fan fic about the Super Smash Bro. trailer and follow it exactly. It gets boring to read. I also hate how they don't make a bit of a deal that Snake is there. Oh well. Chapter3: Rumors are for fags will be here soon... hopefully.


	3. Rumors Are For Fags

It's funny, my first story I completed all 10 chapters in a week but this one is taking a long time to finish. I guess the reason for that is because I wrote the first one over my summer break and now I'm writing this one during school time. Now gather 'round children, it's story time!

(random children looking scared)

Disclaimer: I wish for world peace... nah! I'm just joking! Oh, and I don't own these things.

**Chapter3: Rumors Are for Fags**

After the destruction of the mansion, Snake walked back into it, and was met by Fox McCloud.

"Snake, its a good thing I found you. Come with me." Fox said to Snake.

"Oh sorry, I'm... all booked up. See?" Snake said back to Fox while taking out a schedule book and showing him one of the pages.

"Snake, thats just a doodle," Fox took a moment to look at it. "Of you. Killing somebody." Snake then took a look at the book. It was a drawing he made of him shooting Michihiro.

"Fine. I'll come." Snake followed Fox down a hall. "So... why do you need me?"

"Well, you're in the game, but you have no moves."

"Have no moves!? What are you talking about! Let me show you what I can do!" The lights then dimmed, disco music started to play, and a spot light then went on Snake. Snake then started dancing to the disco music, poorly. Fox felt like his eyes were about to bleed... and they did.

"NOT DANCING MOVES! FIGHTING MOVES!" Fox screamed while wiping blood from his eyes.

"Oh... ok. You can stop, guys." Snake said. Fox then saw people holding spotlights, a boom box and other equipment, and then taking the stuff away.

"... Just, come on."

Fox then came up to a door. He then started to open it.

"This is where-"

Fox unfortunately couldn't finish his sentence because he noticed that he opened the bathroom door and Pikachu was taking a dump.

"PIKA PIKA!! PIKACHU!!!!" Which means "SHUT THE F--KING DOOR! IM TAKING A S--T!!!"

"Sweet mother of Nintendo!!" Fox quickly slammed the door shut. "Sorry, wrong door." He then went to the next door and opened that one. "Here is where we'll think of moves for your gay self."

"Thanks fag." Snake then saw a giant room that was all white, and covered in blood.

"Welcome, to the danger room." Fox then said.

"... wait, isn't that from x-"

"I KNOW! It was either the danger room or the panic room. WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE CHOSEN!? ... never mind. Your opponents will arrive shortly."

"Opponents? Like more than one? 3 peas in a pod?"

"You'll see..." Fox then thought to himself. (3 peas in a pod? what the f--k is up with that?) Snake turned around and saw a large door in front of him. It soon opened and he saw his opponents... THE ICE CLIMBERS!!

"Who are the fags in the stupid getups?"

"Your opponents douchebag." Fox responded. The Ice Climbers then jumped towards Snake, hammers ready to strike. Snake then quickly took out 2 guns, and shot both ice climbers in the head. They then both landed right behind Snake.

"Did I win?"

_Later in Dr. Mario's office..._

"So, the Ice Climbers walked into a door?" Dr. Mario asked Snake.

"Yup."

"How does that explain the holes in their heads?"

"... it was a spike door."

Fox then walked into the office.

"Doctor, tell me straight, will they make it?" Fox said worryingly.

"I hate to say this but sadly... yes."

"Damn."

"I mean, with my ...doctoring... skills they will make a full recovery." Snake then looked at the Ice Climbers.

"All you did was put band aids on the wound." Snake pointed out.

"The band aids worked on my paper cut!" Dr. Mario said while showing them his index finger.

"Right... I'll be leaving now."

Snake then left.

"And I got to go... jerk off, so I'll go too." Fox then followed Snake. While walking in the hall, Snake and Fox meet up with Link and Young Link.

"Link! What are you doing?" Fox asked.

"Well I was gonna go watch Zelda undress," he then took a moment to fantasize what that would look like, "but then I saw this little s--t head mixing alcohol and medicine again so I had to-" Link was then interrupted by Snake.

"Hey, you're the little demon that shot an arrow in my head!!!" Snake then took out his gun and shot Young Link in his left leg. "Playback's a bitch, ain't it?" Young Link screamed in pain.

"What are you doing!?" screamed Link. "Wait," he then rolled up his pants to see a scar on his leg.

"Cool." Snake said, and then he started shooting more shots into Young Link's leg. He watched as more scars appeared on Links leg, but then Link disappeared. "Uh-oh." Snake then looked at Young Link, who was on the floor, motion less.

_Once again in Dr. Mario's office..._

"He was raped?" Dr. Mario asked Snake.

"It happens... so, can you fix him?" Snake then said.

"Yes... but I must operate... and there is a chance that..."

"YES?"

"He will become... cell shaded!!!!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Wait, that's not too bad."

"Eh, some people don't like it." Fox then came into Dr. Mario's office.

"Before you kill more people, how 'bout we finish getting you moves." Fox then said.

"Why not?" Snake said. Fox and Snake then returned to the danger room and Snake saw his next opponent walk in... it was MR GAME AND WATCH!!!

"How about you use simple melee to fight Mr. Game and Watch?" Fox suggested.

"Good for me!" Snake said back. Mr. Game and Watch started to beep.

"Beep beep beep! Ping!"

"What he say?" Snake asked Fox.

"I believe he called your mom a ho."

"Why you little..." Snake ran up to Mr. Game and Watch and punched him right in the stomach at full strength... causing Mr. Game and Watch to rip in half like a piece of paper.

"Ohhhh... forgot to mention. You have to attack him from the side or else he will-"

"Break in half?"

"Pretty much."

_Back to the lab again... I mean Dr. Mario's office... again... just go to the story..._

"What happened to this guy?" Dr. Mario asked.

"How about you make it up this time?" Snake then said.

"He fell down the steps?"

"There you go."

"You know I liked it when I did nothing and ate mushrooms all day!" Dr. Mario yelled.

"Just fix him."

Dr. Mario took duct tape and taped back together Mr. Game and Watch.

"There, he's fixed." Dr. Mario said.

"Good." Snake then left the office (for the 3rd time) and saw Link in front of him.

"Hi there, good buddy." Link said with an angry face on.

"Oh... you're not still angry about the whole destroying you from the face of the planet thing are you?"

"Oh no, but I do got a friend I want you to meet." Pikachu then came from behind Link. "Pikachu, this is the guy who used your brother as a light bulb."(Solid Snake: How He Came To The Brawl, chapter 9)

"PIKA!!!" Which means "ATTACK!"

Suddenly hundreds of Pikachus came out of nowhere and attacked Snake. Blood, skin, and a whole lot of other things went everywhere. Snake then fell through a window, and crashed into a thorn bush below. Link then put an evil smirk on.

"Payback's a bitch, ain't it?"

**Chapter 3: Clear**

If anyone cares, the kids ran away halfway through the story... oh well. By the way this chapter is based on the rumor that the Ice Climbers and Mr. Game and Watch aren't in the next game and that Young Link will become the Young Link from the Wind Waker. By the way, Chapter4: Recruiting New Assholes will be... coming in like, 7 years from how lazy I've been lately... oh well. Take me out hot dog man! (A man in a hot dog suit comes up and starts singing.) Ah, screw this. (I take out a gun and shoot him)


End file.
